


i don't need someone to talk to, i don't need a friend

by bothsexuals



Series: it would've been fun, if you could've been the one [1]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Introspection, abandonment issues baby, i think? im not sure abt fic terms, sad. this is sad.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25628704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bothsexuals/pseuds/bothsexuals
Summary: Abed had always been lonely, and then Troy showed up.But then he left.
Relationships: Troy Barnes & Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Series: it would've been fun, if you could've been the one [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859182
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70





	i don't need someone to talk to, i don't need a friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sapphicpaint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicpaint/gifts).



> Hey, I'm sorry about this. Honestly, I really am. This is for jujubee, because it was very much inspired by our sad trobed talks. Love you, jellybean, and I'm sorry. 
> 
> Title from "Bigger Sky" by The Altogether. Stream their new album, "Silo."

Abed had been lonely his entire life. 

He wasn’t the kind of guy people drifted to, the kind of guy people wanted to be friends with. When he was in elementary school, he made a friend- two, even, but in the matter of a few months they both turned on him on account of him being too annoying, and well, he didn’t really have anyone after that.

He tried to be likable, tried to play the part of the guy people like in movies and shows, but it never worked for him. He tried to be himself, and it worked even less. People made fun of him and stuffed him in lockers, so he just tried to keep quiet and survive.

Then he met Troy, and suddenly he wasn’t lonely anymore. He had a friend- a _best_ friend, even. Troy liked him, _loved_ him, he said as much all the time. Troy loved Abed’s weirdness, loved how deep his TV knowledge was, loved the fun homages he came up with. Troy didn’t mind explaining stuff to Abed that he didn’t get, because Abed did the same for him. They helped each other, and neither of them was lonely anymore. 

And then, Troy left. 

Abed had expected it, because everyone always left. But as time went on, his grip had loosened and he’d allowed himself to believe that Troy might just be the one person to stay. 

He wasn’t. Of course he wasn’t. 

He could do so much better than him. 

He could have the whole world, so why would he choose Abed?

Abed was difficult and weird and high-maintenance, and Troy was beauty itself. Troy had all the talent and potential in the world, and Abed just made okay movies. Troy was going to be great, Abed was just going to _be_. 

And that was okay. That had to be okay, because there was no way to change it.

He couldn’t stop Troy from leaving, couldn’t take that kind of resentment from his best friend. He couldn’t be sure Troy would come back, couldn’t expect him not to find something better than this weirdo he’d for some reason become friends with, and never come back. He couldn’t blame him for it. 

Troy left. 

Just like everyone else did, but not really, because this time it wasn’t even Abed’s fault, really. He didn’t say “Abed, you’re annoying and difficult and I don’t want you anymore,” he said, “Abed, I love you, but I have to go,” and somehow, that was even worse. 

It was even worse because Troy loved him, truly loved him, and he still left. 

So how could anyone ever stay, if the person who loved him most could just leave and never look back? 

But it was okay. Abed didn’t need friends. He never had. He could get by just fine on his own. 

He didn’t need Jeff, who thought he was an emotionless robot and got so easily frustrated by everything Abed did. 

He didn’t need Shirley, who thought so many parts of him were just plain _wrong_. 

He didn’t need Britta, didn’t need her to mess with his head and claim she was trying to help him. 

He didn’t need Frankie to pout pitifully at him whenever he so much as mentioned Troy.

He didn’t need Annie, no matter how much he felt like he did. 

He didn’t need anyone. He could get by on his own, the same way he always had. He wouldn’t be as happy as he was while Troy was in his life, he never would be. All those years almost felt like a dream now that he was gone, as if his real life- his sad, lonely, friendless life- was just on hold until Troy left, and now it had started up again.

He wouldn’t be happy, but he would get by. And that was the best someone like him could hope for, wasn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I am sorry. Kudos/comments if you will, and please don't kill me.


End file.
